Dogged In

What is it to be dogged in? It’s the situation that two dogs create when you are lying under a blanket and each dog lies on top of the blanket on either side of you. The result is that you are stuck under the blanket until you can get one of the dogs to move.

Being dogged in has its advantages. It instantly removes any responsibility around the house. Is that the phone ringing? Your spouse has to get up from his seat and answer it when you are dogged in. Thirsty? Want a snack? When you are dogged in, your spouse is also obligated to serve you so as to not disturb the dozing hounds that have incapacitated you.

The nature of the dogged in condition also has its disadvantages. Sleeping dogs need the body heat of a human under a down comforter so that they can sleep peacefully—never mind that their normal body temperature is 102 degrees, almost 4 full degrees warmer than a human’s body temperature, and they are covered in fur. They still need the warmth of a human against their back or their belly. As a result, in the middle of the night you will not only discover that you are dogged in, but you are also dogged under.

Todd’s in Idaho this week, so I have been sleeping in a dogged in state ever since he left. Normally Griffen will sleep at the top of the stairs or the foot of the bed when we are home without Todd in case either a. Todd comes home and decides to play with him or b. a burglar comes in and decides to play with him. You see, Labradors do not discriminate. Any hand throwing the tennis ball will do, even if that hand is making off with the stereo between throws.

For some reason Griffen has been cuddling with me on the bed and not keeping the riff raff away while we are home alone. Though I am not quite sure what would happen if a burglar did enter my house in the middle of the night. I can only hope that a burglar who breaks into my house is allergic to dog saliva, and has the patience for a Lab with a tennis ball.