Thursday, December 09, 2010

You’re Very Welcome

I am a firm believer in the the idea that if you ignore an annoying person they will go away. My Internet friends I would like you to embark on a mass ignoring campaign with me. Trust me, it’ll work.

A few years back we heard about some crazy chick in California who gave birth to a litter of children, despite the fact that she’d had half a litter at home already. The story unfolded before our eyes, and said crazy chick seemed to want reality show notoriety as a result of giving birth to a small village of babies.

My friends and I railed against her in disgust. Yet we were all fascinated. We clicked on the links leading to news stories about this woman. We tuned in when she was talked about on the news. Yet we were horrified at her quest for fame through her babies. That was when I said to my friends, “OK, time for a mass ignore campaign. We need to stop clicking on her links. We need to stop tuning in. We need to stop listening. We need to stop giving her air time.” I stopped clicking on links to stories about her. And I think my friends did too. Before we knew it, her spotlight faded. They thanked me. I bowed humbly and said they were just as responsible as I was.

Now I am proposing another mass-ignore campaign. This time I want everyone to ignore another woman I am equally horrified over. She served as a Governor in a state just west of the Canadian border. She has publicly marveled over being able see Russia from where she stood. I will not say her name here, but she left office and stranded her state from the office they entrusted to her in an election. She up and left. Quit.

Now this woman is discussing the possibility of running for the presidency. She has a reality show. Her teenaged daughter shared the spotlight when she had a baby out of wedlock (How’s that prayer-y abstinence-y thing workin’ out for ya? You bet’cha your daughter will get knocked up if you don’t teach her about birth control.) Since leaving office she’s holding her hands out for every money making opportunity in front of a camera she can push her way into. Will she up and leave the presidency when the going gets tough. I think so, after all check her track record.

I maintain that if we ignore her she will go away. If we stop listening, she’ll stop talking. If we stop clicking to read about what idiotic thing she’s done now, the news outlets will stop reporting on her.

Someday this former governor pseudo political figure will bump into the woman with the litter of babies in line at Starbucks and they will both say “Wow, you look familiar. Do I know you? I swear I know your name…”

And then you can all thank me.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have not watched her show, but have seen the previews. I've got to say the part where she's pointing out a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs and how that defines the upstairs of the house as a "no boy zone" cracked my ass up. Ummm, they don't need a bedroom, ho. Any backseat, school janitor's closet or secluded park bench will do. Obviously. Some people need to get a grip on reality...not reality shows.

December 12, 2010 at 8:53 PM  
Blogger BJ Knapp said...

I wonder what happens to that No Boy Zone when the cameras are off. After all, the girl got knocked up when there was no limelight.

December 13, 2010 at 7:05 PM  

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