Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Resistant to Change

It happened in summer 2009, and now it’s happening again. Change. It’s not that I am afraid of change. In fact, sometimes I find it exciting. I love first days at work, and I love last days even more.

I started working for Boss in summer of 2009, and at the time it wasn’t a first day I recall fondly. Boss has this certain degree of intensity that teeters on insanity. I had watched her work, from a healthy distance, and marveled at how she spoke without seeming to need a breath and how she plowed through that endless to-do list without breaking for lunch.

I vividly remember the meeting at which I was transitioned from my old boss to Boss. I gulped hard when I received the news. I pondered the necessary resume update and ultimately sent it out a few times. But then an extraordinary thing happened.

She asked me whether I was happy working there. I thought about her question and wondered how I should answer. And then I remembered a book I’d read about how women approach things like salary negotiations and work situations in which they aren’t satisfied. The book had said that women accept low salaries and undesirable work situations because they feel compelled to be a “team player.” Then the answer came out of my mouth.

“No.”

I braced for her hand gesturing to the door. I cringed. But that didn’t happen.

“Why not?” she asked.

And then for the next year and a half she listened. She made my job into something that I actually wanted to do. She didn’t bat an eye when I asked for 2 weeks vacation in July and another in August; my last boss declared 2 weeks in a row impossible to even imagine. My back was gotten, in a big way. She listened, she got to know me, and she understood me. Quick with praise, she got me to work harder. I came to work with purpose rather than a “And what the hell am I going to do today?” attitude.

Just last week she announced her resignation. Her intensity bordering on insanity had gotten the better of her and her child. Her family life suffered as a result. Her last day in the office was today.

I have a new boss, I am now reporting to her boss. But even though I have a new boss, I feel like my rudder’s just been removed and I will end up floating around aimlessly again.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh crap.

Well, hopefully it won't be as bad as you are expecting. It's a half FULL glass, Beej. Remember that.

*perky rant over*

December 5, 2010 at 9:48 AM  
Blogger BJ Knapp said...

Well, the way I see it, the worst possible thing they can do to me is fire me. So, anything above that is gravy.

December 5, 2010 at 4:30 PM  

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