And All that Remained was a Big Apple Core

“Are you sure you don’t want to come along?” I asked Todd.

“Nah. I am still pretty tired from the trip here. I am just going to chill and read. You guys have fun.” He was slathering sunscreen on my back before I put my shirt on. Temps were expected to hit 100, and the sun was already baking us. Sean, Heidi and I wandered down the dock and onto the water taxi bound for the city. The plan for the day was to walk around and then take another leg of the tour package we bought the day before.

We got into the city near the World Trade Center site and made our way through the streets toward Chinatown. The sun baked the streets, sweat dripped under our shirts, yet we were joking and laughing the whole way. We decided to take the bus tour to Brooklyn because none of us had ever gone.

Soon the bus was crossing the Manhattan Bridge, just north of the Brooklyn Bridge. Buses and trucks aren’t allowed on the Brooklyn Bridge. But that didn’t matter to us as we’d already been under it the day before. The tour guide pointed out various buildings and told us their significance. He pointed to one and said “That’s where Exlax was invented. They tested it on monkeys on the roof of the building until they got the formula right.”

Sean turned toward me in his seat and said “I think this guy’s full of shit.” At which point the tour took an entirely unexpectedly hilarious turn for us. As the tour guide rattled off a list of famous Brooklyners, I jokingly pointed out the birthplace of native Brooklyner Sarah Palin. Sean pointed out the elementary school where Arnold Swartzenegger, as a child and native Brooklyner, flunked gym class. We held our sides as we howled with laughter. The Austrian woman seated next to me joined the fun as well.

When we returned to the boat, Todd googled and learned that Exlax was formulated in Ossening, NY and tested on prisoners in Sing Sing. So much for the monkeys on the roof, but at least we passed the Wendy’s that now stands on top of a once active volcano. The volcano had been leveled as a means to create jobs during the Great Depression. Later on, Sarah Palin was named Miss Wendy’s 1982 at that very restaurant. She was promptly stripped of her title when she made the controversial declaration “We can see McDonald’s from the border of our parking lot.”

Thank you Sean and Heidi for making the trip across the Sound a memorable adventure. We loved every second of the trip and it would not have been the same without you.