Dependent

Thursday night Todd came back from his trip to San Francisco. Usually while he’s gone I try to cook. I am not known for my cooking. When Todd calls on his way home from work I hear the trepidation in his voice after I say “I am trying out a new recipe…” But while he’s gone I try new recipes, and I learn something new about cooking every time, and I don’t feel the pressure of needing to make him something actually edible.

Today is Saturday on Labor Day weekend. I am sitting in Todd’s office while he works. I have been working on my book, and I’ve read the Providence Phoenix and completed the crossword.

Originally the plan was I’d drop him at his office then go bomb around Providence. I haven’t been in Providence all summer. I left here after lunch and drove up to Thayer Street, which is near Brown University. Thayer Street has funky little shops that are always fun to kill time in.

I walked down the street and popped into a few shops. I crossed the street and made my way back. I stopped for a frozen yogurt, sat at an outdoor café table and people watched for awhile. But really? I was bored.

I used to go everywhere on my own. Hell, I traveled all over Australia on my own. If my friends didn’t want to go somewhere, but I did, I went anyway. And I didn’t mind. I would explore on my own, meet new people, walk around and do my thing.

After about an hour or so I went back to Todd’s office. He asked why I was back so early, and I said “I’ve been without you all week, and it was boring walking around without you.”

I never thought that I wouldn’t want to walk around alone in the city.