Thursday, March 27, 2008

May the Todd Be With You

Todd has this uncanny knack for getting people to do what he wants. (Which is probably how I ended up not only married to him, but also doing his laundry. He used his crazy voodoo and got me to up the altar and into the laundry room. I am telling you, the man is slick!) He can encounter the most strict rules, the odds stacked against him, the planets entirely unaligned for him and still get people to cooperate with him most of the time. I've told you his ability to get my car registered with the DMV, where I had failed the day before. He didn't do this with some magic document that made the DMV staffers swoon. He just went in there, gave them all the same pieces of paper I gave them the day before and managed to succeed where I failed. The man has a certain mystique about him, that manages to cut through all the red tape and get things done in short order.

On Tuesday night the realtor called us and said, "You're closing on the sale of your house on the 31st. You need to call the fire department and get them to inspect your house between now and the 31st." I called the fire inspector right away, and was informed by their voice mail greeting that they require two weeks notice for inspections. Two weeks that I didn't have. I had less time than that, something like six days.

"Todd! Crap! Whaddarewegonnado?" I blurted into the phone. "GAH!!!"

"Don't worry, let's just go down to the fire station in the morning and see what can be done. It'll be harder for them to turn us away if we go there."

The next morning we wandered into the fire station, and went to the administrative office. We (Todd) explained our situation, and then proceeded to charm the living hell out of the woman behind the counter.

Batting her eyes, "Why certainly, Todd. Your wish is my command" the woman behind the counter replied. With dazed eyes, she robotically ambled over to the appointment book, "Our next appointment is 9 AM tomorrow, master. Is this suitable for you, kind sir?" She blinked, snapped out of Todd's tractor beam of cooperation, and went back to her desk as if she was slightly confused as to what had just happened.

We met with the inspector, and asked him all about what we needed to do to prepare for the inspection--replace our ancient smoke detectors with smoke/carbon monoxide detectors. (Which ended up taking the Force of Todd roughly .35 seconds to complete.)

"OK, so we'll see you tomorrow at 9. I'll have some hot coffee on for you," Todd smiled.

"Uh, thanks, but I can't accept any gifts," the inspector replied.

So I guess the Force of Todd ends just short of bribing a city official.


Radio silence for the next few days. We will be scrubbing, cleaning, sanding, painting, moving, arranging, rearranging, wiping the sweat off our foreheads, and then eventually kicking up our feet in our new house this weekend. I am not sure when I will post next, but you better believe it will be with pictures of the new joint.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, he's good. I have the charm of a rattlesnake in the midst of shedding its skin, I think.

Good luck with the move! It's hard work, definitely, but it can be fun as well. Our last non-cross-country move was a lot of fun for my wife and I as we spent the days doing those same things, buying subs for dinner from the local mom-and-pop sub shop because our stove hadn't arrived yet...

March 28, 2008 at 8:08 AM  

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