Mystery Solved

Scene: Tuesday evening. Todd comes home from work, Beej has done the grocery shopping. Todd has requested that Beej buy 14 apples—two for the chicken dish he would be making that night, the other 12 for the applesauce he wanted to make. Beej has also bought 5 oranges and 5 pears to eat during the week. The fruit bowl is on the table, overflowing with fruit. Every time it is moved, apples and pears go rolling onto the table and floor.

Scene: Wednesday morning.
Beej: Hey, did you eat 2 of the pears? I ate one, and there are only 2 left.
Todd: No, I didn’t. I thought there were only two in there.
Beej: No, I bought only 2 green apples, that you used last night for the chicken. I know I bought 5. (Thinking to self, am I crazy? No, I distinctly remember buying 5.)

Scene: Thursday morning. Beej grabs the single remaining pear and eats it on the way to the gym, the second she’s eaten out of the original five. She returns two hours later, and sees that there are no longer a dozen apples in the bowl. There are seven. She scratches her head. She hasn’t eaten any of them and knows that Todd was saving them for the applesauce. Todd comes home from work.

Beej: Hey, did you eat any of those apples? I thought you were saving those for your applesauce.
Todd: No, I didn’t have any. (glances at bowl) What the hell? Where did they all go?
Beej: I have no idea.

Later on Thursday evening:
Griffen: Gak gak gak gak gak splat.
Todd: (looking at pool of dog vomit, laced with apple chunks) Well, now we know where the apples are going. I’ll bet your pears went that way too.

What is it with this dog, that I cannot possibly leave even the concept of food on a surface of my house without him downing it?